Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
