"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
