People with herpes should wear stickers.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
