I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
