I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize