doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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