The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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