I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
