just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
