He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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