yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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