Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
