SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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