Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
