Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
