you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
