we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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