I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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