I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
