so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
