How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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