I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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