Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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