i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize