She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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