Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
