Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
