More tranny stories later!
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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