Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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