Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
This girl is more easily done than said...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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