i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize