Pappa wants mamma naked
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
