What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
