Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize