so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
