what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
