I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
