Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
