And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
