Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So squirting runs in the family.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
