i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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