Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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