ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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