So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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