Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
