He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
