I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
