im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
