There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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