Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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