That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
