Your face is a jimmy john
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize