grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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