im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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