went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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