Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
