i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
