two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
