The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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