Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
