try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
