the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize