She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
