READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
