lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You can't just leave with hair like that
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
