You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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