I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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